How to Plan a Civil Wedding Ceremony—And Make It Feel Special (2024)

Sure, we love the pomp and circ*mstance—and flowers, and cake, and gowns—that go along with a traditional wedding, but when it comes to legally tying the knot, none of that is actually required. (And, let's be honest, it's never necessary if you don't want it to be!) To officially say "I do," all it really takes is a recognized officiant, a marriage license, and a few witnesses (and even those aren’t required in all states). A civil ceremony will cover it—and, while we often think a civil ceremony means jetting off to city hall, just the two of you, it can really take place anywhere and look however you'd like.

As with wedding planning, it's important to remember that your wedding can be whatever you want it to be, whether it’s a trip to city hall, a totally intimate celebration with just your families, or a huge to-do. And, even though the civil ceremony will likely be smaller in size, that doesn't mean it has to be any less important. "Whether you have just the two of you or your most immediate family attending, give it as much priority as a larger wedding," say Julie Bunkley and Courtney Wolf of Invision Events. "You'll want the moments documented so hire a photographer if even for a short period of time, get your hair and makeup done, and consider having a bouquet."

Meet the Expert

  • Julie Bunkley is the owner and creative director at Invision Events, a destination wedding planning studio based in Birmingham, Alabama.
  • Courtney Wolf is Invision Events' principal wedding planner.
  • Valorie Darling is a photographer based in Los Angeles. She has captured nearly 150 weddings in her time as a wedding photographer.
  • Chanda Daniels is aweddingplanner, founding partner of Ethos West Collective, and a member of theBridesreview board.

So, whether you’re saving up for the big celebration, want to get married before a major life change, or simply can’t wait to tie the knot, here’s what you need to know for having a civil ceremony now and a big reception later.

20 Stunning City Hall Wedding Courthouses

How to Plan a Civil Wedding Ceremony—And Make It Feel Special (1)

What Is a Civil Ceremony?

A civil ceremony is a non-religious, legal marriage ceremony presided over by a legal officiant. These types of weddings often take place at a city hall.

Your Guide to Planning a Civil Ceremony

1. Do Your Research

It’s not as easy as waltzing into city hall with your IDs. Every state has its own set of rules when it comes to applying for a marriage license, so make sure to check first. Generally, a civil ceremony is subject to the same requirements as a religious one in regards to fees (such as venue and marriage license) and restrictions (like age). So, keep an eye out for fees, required documentation, and waiting periods. For instance, Thursdays and Fridays may be more popular days (which means longer lines) if you're thinking of city hall. Also, be sure to check if you'll need a witness (or two) or not.

Make sure to check your state's requirements because rules regarding witnesses and documentation vary.

2. Choose an Officiant

While, again, requirements vary from state to state—and, in some cases, by county—a civil ceremony is generally presided over by a legal official. That person can be a justice of the peace, county or court clerk, notary public, judge, or magistrate. If you go to the city hall, that person will be provided.

3. Decide Who to Invite

Having a civil ceremony doesn’t mean you have to skip the guest list entirely, but there are often limits on how many guests you can bring. Always check the rules at your ceremony venue before extending an invitation to any family members or friends. And don't forget that witnesses can be guests too. Some states require two witnesses over the age of 18, while others don’t require any witnesses at all. Sure, you can grab some strangers out of the waiting room, but why not give a few people you love the honor of signing your marriage license?

Another reason to boost that guest count? Chanda Daniels, a wedding planner based in California, says that bringing the "maximum number of guests" is an easy way to make your civil ceremony that much more special. Consider inviting your parents and siblings for an intimate celebration, or add on a few close friends. While you’ll be having a wedding later to celebrate your union, this is the moment, so invite those closest to you to be a part of it.

As for how you should invite guests? Bunkley and Wolf suggest being as personal as possible, especially considering the small guest list. "If you have time to send a personal note of invitation, that is the best way," they say. "No matter how small, being as intentional and personal as possible makes it more memorable and special." That said, if you're pressed for time, you can always make a phone call or send an e-vite.

How to Plan a Civil Wedding Ceremony—And Make It Feel Special (2)

4. Plan Your Looks

Accrording to Wolf and Bunkley, "the most memorable weddings are always the most personal," and an easy way to accomplish this is through your attire. "Put your spin on your civil ceremony with your own personality through your outfits (whether new or from your current closet)," they say. Daniels agrees: She suggests going all out—wear something truly special (don't count out a wedding dress!) and have your hair and makeup done, so you look and feel your best when you mark this major milestone.

5. Hire a Few Key Vendors

Consider bringing a photographer to capture the day's special moments, as the civil ceremony is part of your wedding story. "Civil ceremonies can be incredibly special and powerful because of how intimate they are," says Valorie Darling, a photographer based in Los Angeles. "I usually hear that couples set off thinking it will be procedural and are surprised by how emotional it turned out to be, all of a sudden reciting vows to each other without anyone else. To capture this is something you'll return to—the purity of that moment together."

In addition, Darling says hiring a photographer for the civil ceremony has an added perk: "It's also an opportunity for your photographer to build a relationship so, on the big day, you're close and more relaxed, meaning your photographer can capture the wedding day with ease and you can enjoy living it."

You should also think about any extras you'd like to have with you: A wedding bouquet or boutonnière are always good ideas, but certain spots might allow you to include additional floral moments (Daniels says to check with your locale). You may also want to have a something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue to tie your civil ceremony to wedding tradition.

6. Celebrate Making It Official

You’re married! Mark the occasion in a way that feels special, whether it’s a Champagne toast and cupcakes with just the two of you, offers Daniels, a family dinner at home, or a late lunch after a midday ceremony. "In every city, there are amazing, iconic restaurants nearby where couples can celebrate with an amazing lunch," she adds. If you have witnesses or guests, make sure to include them in the fun.

Then, take a little time to revel in the moment together—alone. We love the idea of booking a room at a nice hotel for the night or heading out of town for the weekend for an early minimoon.

How to Plan a Civil Wedding Ceremony—And Make It Feel Special (3)

How to Plan a Wedding After a Civil Ceremony

Yes, you’ll already be legally married by the time your wedding rolls around, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be just as special—especially since rules no longer apply! A few ideas we love?

  • Include all the traditions you love, and skip the ones you don’t.
  • Have a short and sweet ceremony to symbolize your union.
  • Walk down the aisle with your father, or you and your partner can make your entrance together.
  • Exchange vows that you’ve personalized, and include a reading or two that speak to you.

Since this part doesn’t have to be legally binding (been there, done that), ask whomever you wish to serve as officiant—no online ordination required. And don’t worry about explaining the situation to your guests—they’re coming together to celebrate the two of you, and your love story is still your love story, so there will definitely be happy tears, whether your officiant is registered or not.

Then, once you’ve had your “first kiss,” continue to celebrate however you'd like! Now all you have to do is decide which anniversary you’ll celebrate...

Reasons to Have a Civil Ceremony

It's Less Expensive

Civil ceremonies can be appealing to couples for a variety of reasons, but a big one is the smaller price tag that accompanies them. If the civil wedding isn't followed by a religious ceremony and large-scale reception, the only costs are the fees that go along with it. If time is of the essence and you can't wait to start your lives together, a quick legal procedure can be far more attractive than the months of planning that go into larger weddings.

It Makes Navigating Religion Easier

Interfaith to-be-weds may opt for a civil ceremony as a compromise to avoid the pitfalls of navigating both of their religions. Similarly, non-religious couples may not want a religious ceremony that doesn't feel particularly authentic to their beliefs.

You Have More Freedom With Your Venue

Those with their sights set on an adventurous outdoor wedding could find themselves limited when it comes to the constraints of religious ceremonies—the Catholic church, for example, won't conduct weddings outside of a church. A civil ceremony can be much more flexible in this case, which can be a major draw, especially for creative couples looking to design their own ceremony.

It Reduces Family Drama

Last but not least, family can be a deciding factor. If you're navigating tricky family dynamics, a civil ceremony, attended by just a few guests, could be the simplest way to go.

FAQ

  • What is the difference between a civil union and a civil marriage?

    A civil union is a legally recognized, non-marriage union whereas a civil marriage is a legal marriage with a non-religious ceremony. Semantically, a legal marriage can also be considered a civil union, but a civil union is not a marriage.

  • How long does a civil marriage ceremony take?

    A civil marriage ceremony can take between 10 and 15 minutes. This can vary depending on what you choose to include in the ceremony as well as any paperwork or formalities that need to be completed beforehand.

  • Is a civil ceremony the same as a wedding?

    A civil ceremony can be the same as the nuptial ceremony of a wedding for those who don't wish to include a religious ceremony. The civil ceremony is not the same as the wedding reception, or celebratory party, however. Usually, the civil ceremony takes place on a different day preceding the religious ceremony and reception.

  • Will my civil marriage be recognized by my religious community?

    Civil marriages are usually not recognized by religious communities unless they are followed by a religious ceremony, though it's always best to check with a member of the clergy first. A religious marriage is a marital union recognized by the canons, traditions, and constraints of a specific religion. It is not acknowledged by the law until a marriage license is filed.

  • Does the Catholic Church recognize a civil marriage?

    Catholic tradition does not recognize marriages that take place outside of a Catholic Church by Catholic individuals. A convalidation ceremony can transition a civil marriage to a Catholic marriage and have the union formally recognized by the Catholic Church.

40 Small Wedding Ideas for an Intimate Affair

How to Plan a Civil Wedding Ceremony—And Make It Feel Special (2024)

FAQs

What do you say at a civil ceremony? ›

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I (full names) do take thee (full names) to be my lawful wedded wife/husband. I promise to care for you, to give you my love and friendship and to respect you and cherish you throughout the rest of our lives together.

What is the speech for the civil wedding ceremony? ›

Exchange of Vows

Woman answers, "I do." Notary states, "Repeat after me." To the man: "I, (his name), take you (her name ), to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

How do you plan a successful wedding ceremony? ›

Learn how to plan a wedding by following these 25 tips and steps:
  1. Daydream about your day. ...
  2. Set your budget. ...
  3. Bring in backup. ...
  4. Choose a wedding date. ...
  5. Pick your wedding party. ...
  6. Build your guest list. ...
  7. Choose your wedding ceremony location. ...
  8. Choose your wedding venue.
Feb 17, 2021

How to dress for a courthouse wedding? ›

A courthouse is a public official's office, so it's a good idea to err on the side of business casual, versus a laid-back look you might wear to run errands. Read: A sports coat and slacks, a dressier sundress or a nice blouse plus slacks or a skirt are all great options.

How do you make wedding memories? ›

7 Wedding Memory Ideas To Remember Your Special Day
  1. #1 Save Those Pre-Wedding Memories.
  2. #2 Include the Wedding Destination.
  3. #3 Be Prepared on Wedding Day.
  4. #4 Ask Guests to Contribute.
  5. #5 Save Special Mementoes.
  6. #6 Document The Events After the Big Day.
  7. #7 Bring It All Together in One Place.
Feb 2, 2022

What are the three promises of marriage? ›

The couple could promise each other to "love and cherish" or, alternatively, the groom promises to "love, cherish, and worship", and the bride to "love, cherish, and obey".

Do you need a ring for a civil wedding? ›

Legally, rings are not a requirement for civil weddings, so it is up to you and your partner if you want to exchange rings during your ceremony.

Can you have a blessing at a civil ceremony? ›

Civil ceremonies can include readings, songs or music, but must not include anything that's religious (for example hymns or readings from the Bible or the Torah). You can get a religious blessing of your marriage after a civil ceremony.

How do you introduce yourself as an officiant? ›

The audience will want to know who you are and why you're up there. So, start by introducing yourself—briefly—and explain why you were chosen or how you know the couple. Then, share those two or three specific stories you brainstormed or crowd-sourced. And lastly, zoom out.

What are the opening words of an officiant? ›

Welcome family and friends. We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the marriage of [Name] and [Name]. This is not the beginning of a new relationship but an acknowledgment of the next chapter in their lives together.

Who says vows first? ›

In a traditional wedding, the groom is usually the one to say his vows first. But today, either part of the couple has the option of saying their vows first. This preference on vows varies depending on what you select as a couple, your beliefs, what your officiant recommends, or the order of events you choose.

What is the correct order of a wedding ceremony? ›

In a traditional wedding ceremony, the processional begins with the bride's mother before the groom, best man, wedding party, flower girl, and ring bearer follow. The bride, who is escorted by her father, is the last to make her way down the aisle.

How to plan a wedding in 10 steps? ›

How To Start Planning A Wedding: The First 10 Steps
  1. Start To Think Like A Wedding Planner.
  2. Determine What's Most Important To You.
  3. Set An Overall Wedding Budge.
  4. Form Your Wedding Party.
  5. Create Your Guest List.
  6. Determine Wedding Dates.
  7. Start Looking For Your Dream Wedding Venue.
  8. Search For The Perfect Wedding Vendors.
Sep 6, 2023

What is the best time to start a wedding ceremony? ›

Ceremony Start Time WITHOUT A “FIRST LOOK”
  • Friday/Saturday- 5 p.m. is an ideal start time. ...
  • Sunday- 4 p.m. is an ideal start time, because your guests usually can't stay too late if they have to work the next day. (
Feb 7, 2021

How to get married at City Hall Philadelphia? ›

Philadelphia City Hall Wedding

If you and your partner are looking to get married right away, you can hold a city hall wedding at Philadelphia's City Hall. To get started, you'll need to email MLappt. @phila.gov or call (215) 686-2233 to request an appointment with the Marriage License Bureau in City Hall.

What is a civil ceremony in the UK? ›

A civil ceremony is a marriage without any religious context, performed by a registrar. The ceremony is legally binding. Some people choose to have a longer religious ceremony (or non-religious blessing such as a commitment ceremony), and do the civil ceremony either before or after that to ensure they're legally wed.

References

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Jonah Leffler

Last Updated:

Views: 6415

Rating: 4.4 / 5 (65 voted)

Reviews: 80% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Jonah Leffler

Birthday: 1997-10-27

Address: 8987 Kieth Ports, Luettgenland, CT 54657-9808

Phone: +2611128251586

Job: Mining Supervisor

Hobby: Worldbuilding, Electronics, Amateur radio, Skiing, Cycling, Jogging, Taxidermy

Introduction: My name is Jonah Leffler, I am a determined, faithful, outstanding, inexpensive, cheerful, determined, smiling person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.