Bridal Shower Etiquette for Hosts, Guests and the Bride (2024)

Who Plans the Bridal Shower?

Traditionally, the bride’s family was not supposed to host the shower because it made it appear like they were demanding gifts. But this etiquette rule has changed in recent years, and the bridal shower can now be hosted by the bride’s mother, her sister, her maid of honor, one of her bridesmaids or any other close friend or family member. A group of the bride’s friends can also work together to plan and host the event.

Who to Invite to the Bridal Shower?

Only guests who are invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower. Try to keep the guest list short—the shower should be a much smaller affair than the wedding, with just the bride’s close friends in attendance. It is acceptable to throw the bride multiple showers, especially for brides with friends and family spread out over many locations, but try to invite guests to just one shower each. If there are a few guests who end up getting invited to multiple showers, remind them that they only have to bring a gift to the first shower they attend.

When to Host the Bridal Shower

The bridal shower should take place between two weeks to two months before the wedding. Before you set a date, confer with the bride and the bridal party to ensure that the date will work for everyone involved.

Bridal shower invitations should go out six to eight weeks before the event. Include common details like date and location, but make sure to mention the wedding registry as well. You should have one person in the bridal party receive all of the RSVP cards—this will help you keep everything organized.

Bridal Shower Responsibilities for the Hostess


As the hostess, you’ll have a number of bridal shower responsibilities both before and during the event. In the weeks leading up to the shower, you should create a menu for the party, and you should also put together a list of games and activities if you’re opting to play any. In addition, you can decide on a theme and gather decorations for the shower.

When the shower begins, it is nice to have someone greeting guests at the door. You could do the greeting, or you can assign this job to one of the other bridesmaids. During the shower, mingle with the guests, and make sure everyone is enjoying themselves.

When the bride is opening her presents, it’s a good idea to sit next to her and take note of everything she receives and who gave her each gift. This way, she’ll be able to easily send thank you cards after the shower.

Bridal Shower Etiquette for Brides

As the bride, it’s against proper etiquette for you to throw your own shower. Let your friends or family members take charge of the day. Focus on your wedding, and only offer your input on the shower if you’re asked.

While you’re at the shower, be sure to mingle with all of your guests, and try to spend equal time with everyone there. You don’t want anyone to think that they’ve been forgotten. When the shower is winding down, you should make sure to thank everyone for coming.

After the shower, send thank you cards right away. If you wait too long, the shower thank you cards may be forgotten as you begin focusing more on your wedding. Your thank you cards should be handwritten, and they should mention each guest’s gift by name. You should also get a small thank you gift for your hostess, and along with the gift, include a thank you card.

Co-Ed Shower Etiquette

Co-ed wedding showers are becoming increasingly popular. If you decide to throw one of these showers, be sure that the theme and decor speak to the couple’s common interests. For example, if the couple loves to travel, you could use antique suitcases or maps in your décor. The co-ed shower should always be designed with both the bride and groom in mind.

When it comes to hosting a co-ed shower, both the bridesmaids and the groomsmen should get involved. These two groups should work together to create a shower that the couple will love. If this large number of people becomes too unwieldy, one member of the bridal party and one groomsman can host together.
A wedding shower is a fun way to congratulate a bride and groom on their big day. These wedding shower etiquette rules will help you plan and execute a memorable bridal or co-ed shower.

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Bridal Shower Etiquette for Hosts, Guests and the Bride (2024)

FAQs

Who should host a bridal shower etiquette? ›

Traditional etiquette dictates that the maid of honor—not the mother of the bride—should host the shower. Nancy is a freelance writer for MarthaStewart.com. Some etiquette rules were meant to fade away into oblivion, like the one about family members of the bride not hosting her bridal shower.

Is it proper for the mother of the bride to host a bridal shower? ›

Traditionally, the mother of the bride doesn't host the bridal shower (the maid of honor typically assumes the chief shower-planning role), however, your daughter will likely want you to be a part of the celebration.

Does the mother of the bride speak at the bridal shower? ›

As the mother of the bride, you've likely been tasked with giving a speech not only at your daughter's wedding, but also at her bridal shower. This is a great opportunity to truly highlight your daughter and speak about the relationship you two share.

Who should not host a bridal shower? ›

Traditionally, the bridal shower was hosted by the maid of honor and bridesmaids, not the mother of the bride or her future mother-in-law. Why? Because an event being hosted by a bride's mother, mother-in-law, or any relatives made it appear as if the woman of honor and her family members were asking for gifts.

What is the mother of the bride responsible for? ›

A key mother of the bride task on the day of the wedding is to host the reception with the other parents. Take the time to chat to guests, thank them for coming, ensure everything is happening as it should be and just generally make sure the day is running smoothly.

What is the role of the mother of the bride at the bridal shower? ›

Whether she's handling your bridal shower or greeting out-of-town guests once they arrive in town for your nuptials, the mother of the bride is the official hostess and should focus on helping each attendee feel welcome.

Does the mother of the bride give a gift to her daughter? ›

While it is traditional (although not obligatory) for the mother and father of the bride to receive a thank you gift from the newlyweds on the big day, a little memento from the bride's parents to their daughter is also becoming more popular.

What is protocol for bridal showers? ›

Since showers are intended for the bride's nearest and dearest, every shower guest must already be on the wedding guest list. Because it's understood that guests should bring a present to a shower, it's not appropriate to invite people whom you don't plan to include in the wedding.

What should a bride say at her bridal shower? ›

Acknowledge Guests

These people have come to celebrate your journey towards married life, so it's essential to make them feel appreciated. Keep it brief but heartfelt by saying something like, "It means so much to me that you all could make it here today. Thank you for your love and support!"

What is supposed to happen at a bridal shower? ›

The bride will open her gifts in front of the guests and often express her gratitude with a short speech. And opening gifts isn't the only thing the bride does at this event. In addition to gift giving, bridal showers may also involve playing games, eating great food, and having the bride's favorite drinks.

Does the mother of the bride greet guests? ›

It's the mother of the bride's responsibility to greet all the guests she knows, and introduce herself to those she doesn't. The MOB should be part of the receiving line (if the couple is having one), and if not, she should go table to table to say hello to guests and thank them for attending.

What does a mother say to her daughter on her wedding day? ›

To [my/our] daughter on her wedding day, you are a vision. You've filled [my/our] [life/lives] with incredible happiness and you're about to do the same for [spouse's name]. [I/We] adore you and can't wait to see you say "I do." Every parent says that their child is the best, but in [my/our] case, it's actually true.

Who walks out the mother of the bride? ›

Traditionally, a groomsman should walk the mother of the bride down the aisle.

Who typically throws a bridal shower? ›

Today, it's common for the maid of honor or matron of honor — sometimes in conjunction with the mother of the bride — to plan the shower. However, the bridesmaids, wedding party, and the bride's family can all pitch in if necessary. Another modern trend is to make bridal showers gender inclusive.

Who is expected to throw a bridal shower? ›

When it comes to the question “who hosts a bridal shower,” the most popular answer is usually the maid of honor. One of the most important maid of honor duties is leading the charge to plan the bridal shower, from choosing a venue to sending out bridal shower invitations, planning games to choosing favors.

What is the protocol for a bridal shower? ›

Since showers are intended for the bride's nearest and dearest, every shower guest must already be on the wedding guest list. Because it's understood that guests should bring a present to a shower, it's not appropriate to invite people whom you don't plan to include in the wedding.

Should a sister-in-law host a bridal shower? ›

Answer: Tradition says that a shower shouldn't be thrown by the bride's immediate relatives, including future in-laws, because it might give the impression that you're asking for gifts.

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